Sometimes I wonder, will we ever feel like "parents" or "grown ups"? Do parents, ours included, ever feel like "grown ups" or "parents"? As a child there has always a "grown ups" table and a "kids" table, but I still feel like I should be sitting at the kids table. In fact, I have had gatherings at my house where I feel truly uncomfortable sitting at the "grown ups" table. It is almost like we should add a middle table the "half way" table or "not old yet" table even "moderately mature" table. At one of those I might feel more at home.
Am I the only one out there who looks at a college kid and thinks I am around there age, when in truth I am at least 10 years older than the college age kids. Please do not mistake what I am saying, no part of me wants to be in my early or even late twenties (been there done that!) I love being thirty! I love everything about my age and my stage- THANK GOD I made it!!!!!!!!! There were some moments in my twenties that were pretty touch and go. All that to say I am not reminiscing, I just think a little fear comes with the title "grown up".
Why is it that we held in such high esteem, the "grown ups"? As if the title made them almost perfect. I think that is the root of my fear... I know how far from perfect that I truly am. That I struggle everyday to do the right thing, and I fall many times. Not that I think that a "grown up" should be perfect now, and I know that EVERYONE falls. It is just a little scary to know that the"kids" table will be watching me now. Even typing it makes me breathe a little sigh of concern.
Oh L0rd, please give me the strength to do the next best thing. Give me discernment to know your will and the strength to do it. Change my hearts desire to be yours and teach me your ways that I may walk in them. Help me to talk about you when I walk along the way, when I lie down and when I rise up. Help me to teach your ways to my children and eventually to their children. Convict me quickly when I stumble and fall and help me to repent quickly and change. That I might live the life that you desire and be an example to the watching tables. Amen~
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