Sleeping like a baby...

Oh the joy of playing with flowers when all things are new. I wonder what she is thinking when she looks at them in all of their beauty. Oh what a fun world to discover.

After a long day of playing with all her new toys and the pretty flowers, a little girl fell to sleep with her arm hanging out of the crib. It was just too cute not to share. Enjoy!





So sleepy... it was a LONG day for my Bear!

All grown up

Sometimes I wonder, will we ever feel like "parents" or "grown ups"? Do parents, ours included, ever feel like "grown ups" or "parents"? As a child there has always a "grown ups" table and a "kids" table, but I still feel like I should be sitting at the kids table. In fact, I have had gatherings at my house where I feel truly uncomfortable sitting at the "grown ups" table. It is almost like we should add a middle table the "half way" table or "not old yet" table even "moderately mature" table. At one of those I might feel more at home.

Am I the only one out there who looks at a college kid and thinks I am around there age, when in truth I am at least 10 years older than the college age kids. Please do not mistake what I am saying, no part of me wants to be in my early or even late twenties (been there done that!) I love being thirty! I love everything about my age and my stage- THANK GOD I made it!!!!!!!!! There were some moments in my twenties that were pretty touch and go. All that to say I am not reminiscing, I just think a little fear comes with the title "grown up".

Why is it that we held in such high esteem, the "grown ups"? As if the title made them almost perfect. I think that is the root of my fear... I know how far from perfect that I truly am. That I struggle everyday to do the right thing, and I fall many times. Not that I think that a "grown up" should be perfect now, and I know that EVERYONE falls. It is just a little scary to know that the"kids" table will be watching me now. Even typing it makes me breathe a little sigh of concern.

Oh L0rd, please give me the strength to do the next best thing. Give me discernment to know your will and the strength to do it. Change my hearts desire to be yours and teach me your ways that I may walk in them. Help me to talk about you when I walk along the way, when I lie down and when I rise up. Help me to teach your ways to my children and eventually to their children. Convict me quickly when I stumble and fall and help me to repent quickly and change. That I might live the life that you desire and be an example to the watching tables. Amen~

Turning One

Well its official, my baby is getting older. She turns one today at 6:00 pm, so she is not quite one yet. I cannot believe it! I thought that I would cry, but I am actually in a state of shock. One year ago today, I was in a state of utter bliss and I am thrilled to say that I remain in a state of utter bliss.

While I am pondering this year that went by so fast. All of the sudden it hit me, I am surrounded by pink polka dots, dancing ballerinas, Peter Rabbit and all his books, pink tea pots and stuffed animals, how did it go by so fast? One minute I am holding this tiny swaddled bundle of joy and then I blink and she is walking and playing with all of her toys, and I think, please God, don't let it all go by so fast! I just cherish this stage... well who I am I kidding I cherish it all.

How is it that the worst stages of our lives seem to crawl by at a turtles pace, and the best things seem race by? I know that I have said this before, but I just cannot get over the fact that it really has been one year. Oh how blessed we are to have been a part of Caroline's life for this year. I know that God made her just for us. When nights are long, and trust me that is often, sometimes all I can think about is the mom who so wants to rock her baby, but can't. Or for how many women would give anything to have a baby to pick up and rock in the middle of the night.

I do not know why their answer was "no" or "not now", and trust me I have wanted to be on this end for a VERY long time. All I do know is that since God finally said "now is the time" for me, I find myself holding Caroline longer, rocking Caroline more, hugging Caroline tighter, Kissing her often, telling her "I love you" constantly, and daily reminding myself of how blessed beyond measure we are to have her. I still cannot believe that God has entrusted me with this little bundle of joy! What an awesome resposibility! I pray daily that God will use me to help grow her into being a fully devoted follower of Christ, who loves God and loves others.

Here are a few of our swimming pictures. Can you tell that I just love her?

Happy Snapper

Have you ever had one of those days where you just cannot put the camera down? With every snap of the camera I grew more and more snap happy in the hopes that one of the thousands of pictures that I was snapping would come out to be an award winning shot. Did I mention that my camera is pretty old and the slowest most unprofessional camera's in existence. There is a part of me, obviously the border line crazy part of me, that believes one day something that I will do- a cake I will make, a picture I will take, a board game that I play- I will do it the VERY best and someone will take note. Rest assured I will not ever do anything that will be that note worthy, to anyone besides my mom ;) None the less, I will continue to day dream about my phenomenal abilities in pretty much anything!

Daily

Am I the only person who cannot remember anything? I do not think that I was always this way, but truthfully, I DON'T REMEMBER!!!!! What is the deal with the loss of memory? When I sat down to start writing on my new found blog, I could not remember what it was that I wanted to write about, so I thought well I am going to write about loosing my memory, so that next time I sit down and completely draw blank I can look back to see that, yes Betsy this happens ALL THE TIME!

Loosing my memory could be God's way of keeping me blissfully happy! I mean if I remembered everything that I had done or that I needed to do on any given day, it might cause me to meltdown, but since I don't I remain in a state of utter bliss. The kind of happy you are when you first get married, and you think that your sweet spouse would never do anything to make you upset. Were not those the days. Sometimes I look back on my honeymoon pictures and think, girl you do not know what you just signed up for. Not that married life is bad, quit the opposite, but it is definitely nothing like I thought it would be.

I do not think that you can prepare someone for marriage or babies. No matter how much anyone tells you, "Marriage is not easy" or "Having a baby changes everything", I always found myself thinking "YOUR marriage is not easy, but mine will be" and "Having a baby is going to make EVERYTHING easier and better". The marriage thing, wow did I have a lot to learn. Team work for the rest of your life is not easy. But it is the of great reward! Having a baby it changed everything, and I would not trade my Luke or my sweet Caroline for all of the money in the world! They are the VERY BEST presents, besides Jesus, that God has ever given me and I am forever grateful for them.

I think I hear my present crying for me right now...

Sweetest Season

Since I have had this blog for say um, 5 months now, I think that it is high time that I make my first post! I am tired of constantly saying that I am soooo busy, that is a given. I have a daughter who will be one on Friday and she has yet to sleep through the night. I have a husband that recently took a job 3 1/2 hours from our home and we are not moving. Why? Well we are in the process (a year long process) of fixing up our new home. So what does that mean? We drive every Sunday ( 2 1/2 hours) to my parent's house, baby in tote, and stay there until Tuesday night or Wednesday morning. And amidst all of the chaos I find myself wondering, does life get any better than this, because I just do not know anything that I would enjoy more than what I am doing right now.

No I do not have time to catch up with my friends, brush my teeth, poop in private, or shower daily, but I cannot say that it bothers me at all! All I know is one day, sooner than I ever wanted this will be a faint memory and I will ALWAYS look on these times with a longing affection! I just have a hard time believing that life could get any sweeter than this! Hints the blog title "The Abundant Life". Because a life lived in Christ's strength is the Abundant Life!

Hopefully I will have more to share as the days go by.